BUT I'M STILL HERE
Poems by 11th grade students at Roseland Collegiate Prep
with special thanks to Mr. Leong
Poet-Teacher Margo Perin
​California Poets in the Schools
​

A Spring Without You
by F. A.

Everything you say and do
It all sparkles so brightly

It’s too blinding for me
And I end up closing my eyes

But I can’t help aspiring 
To be like you

Spring will be here soon
So ephemeral and weak
Thump, thump, thump,
Like a heartbeat
             
Our love was my spring of life
The rays of jealousy dried it out
My heart stopped pumping
Like a drought

Spring will be here soon
A Spring without you

​
The Pandemic
by Daniela Cabrera

The beginning was brutal,
I didn’t know what to do.
Do I stay inside?
Do I go to school?

We were told to stay home.
We were told to obey like
we were children.
I had no idea what was next.

I had no one to rely on anymore 
I only had loneliness as my companion.
But all that time tormented my soul.
All the memories and emotions from the past
came back to hit me like a bullet.

Everything hurt again
People always told me, all good things must come to an end.
The sting always showed me I was still human.
All of my thoughts were hurtful and sad.
My beating heart tortured my body.
Am I still here?

The sadness burns, 
The depression tortures, 
The PTSD murders,
But I'm still here.

The way I am is not my fault,
It’s all his fault but I try to forget.
The more years that pass, the worse I become.
But I'm still here.


These Three Years 
by Anonymous 

Crossing by the line
Going to an unknown word
My mouth not knowing how to talk
I’ll rise

Walking through the angry path
Falling every time
Confused by those times
I rise

Fetter in quarantine
Not seeing friends, just rough moments
Feeling like not wanting to get out the bed
I rise

Seeing masks covering smiles
Being imprisoned in a room
Scared of the infection
I know, I’ll rise

Watching people on screens
When I wake up and when I go to sleep
Because of these restrictions
I rise

Life is getting hard
It is raining cats and dogs in my mind
I’m too young for what is coming
But still, I’ll rise


Locked Feelings 
by J. C.

Seems like a normal day 
But with horrible news
Couldn’t believe anything 
I still rise 

Everything stopped
Like we were in slow motion speed 
Giving a pause to our lives
Assimilating what was going on in the world
I rise

Worried about everything and especially my loved ones 
Trying to have a positive mind but I couldn’t
Still with the hope of seeing my loved ones soon
I still rise 

My head was getting ready to explode
I was trapped in a cage 
Trapped in four walls
Thinking about what will happen next
I rise 

Couldn’t imagine how much people were hurt inside
How many people were fighting for their life
What could we do?
Nothing, just staying home because that was safe 
I rise 

This is like a nightmare and I want to wake up
I wish for the day that we could tell this just as a 
Scary story
I wish for the day we can go out there like before
I still rise


Thank You for Not Coming Back
by Anonymous 

I always waited for you to come through the door,
you're someone I wanted back in my life.

waiting and waiting for you to come back,
instead you never did
it was like you didn't know I existed

on my birthday, you didn't show,
on father’s day, you didn't show.
you've never come, never, no.
you have never been here, never.

not even one call or letter

sad part is my birthday is on fathers day, 
June 19, 2005.
worst day each year, 
especially when it lands on father’s day.

maybe I’ll never see you again,
for that it’s best to say, thank you.
now I will rise

still I rise
still I rise


I Rise
by I. F. S.

Still I rise, thinking if the days will get better,
I feel that I am trapped in a dark, cold place, 
full of unfulfilled dreams and far from society,
accompanied by my poor loneliness.

I rise, because I want to fit in with this strange 
race that we call humans. I get up, without any 
sense because of the reasons that have long 
since advanced.

I rise, waiting to get out of this hopeless place full
of sadness and fear of the unknown, wanting to
eat the world but afraid of dying trying. I rise, to 
cover me from the words that hurt and keep me safe.

Still I rise, because I know that I must fight against 
that force that pulls me towards despair and suffering
from which I want to flee. I rise, because I want to 
cross that thin line between sadness and happiness.

I rise, so that all that enormous weight of cargo on 
my back does not crush me. I rise to be able to be
someone in life. I rise, for all those who stayed on 
the road. I rise, to let the woman die alone loneliness.

I rise, to excel in society. I rise, to be someone in life. 
I rise, because I want to stop supporting the wounds
that other people's words make me. I rise, because 
I don't want them to see me sunk in a sea full of tears.


Sea of Flags
by Esmeralda E. Hazelwood

I hope that someday I can unfurl the rainbow flag that's sitting at the bottom of the drawer
To not have to worry about whether or not I’ll still be their daughter
Still I rise

Tears staining my cheeks
As I wonder if there's something wrong with me
Constant worry of the backlash I’ll receive
Wondering if they’ll disown me or welcome me with open arms
Still I rise

I see all the couples walking around together, smiling and laughing
I envy them
For they do not have to worry about the judgment
The murders committed because they believe that who we love is wrong
Still I rise

I can’t help who I love
Cognizant of the hateful eyes that follow me
As I hold her hand
As I hug her from behind
And whisper all the things I love about her into her ear
Still I rise

Hoping to one day join in on the celebrations
To one day join in the sea of flags
And hold up my flag with pride
Still I rise


Cambio
por D. H.

Mi solo recuerdo queda
una vida normal 
que cambia de un verano a invierno
arrebatando toda esperanza.

Dejándote tan frágil 
pero a la vez haciendote mas fuerte    
este repetitivo caso ya canso
dejándonos caer como hojas de árbol secas.

Anhelando que sea como antes 
ya pasaron tantos minutos  
en mi cabeza corre la intriga  
pensando en las personas que me importan.

Separados y aislados 
así vivimos por mucho tiempo 
esperando al fin ver la luz 
O esperando aún más la oscuridad.

Fingindo estar bien 
pero más perdido que nunca
imaginando una estrella negra caer
mi precipicio está vacío.

Me gustaria que solo fuera un sueño 
me gustaría volver a mi vida
pero al fin de todo, todo pasa por algo
tal vez era tiempo de reinventarnos. 


Change
by D. H. 

My only memory remains of
a normal life 
that changes from summer to winter,
snatching all hope.

Leaving you so fragile 
but at the same time making you stronger    
this repetitive and tired case
letting us fall like dry tree leaves.

Longing for it to be like before, 
so many minutes have already passed  
in my head the intrigue  
thinking about the people I care about.

Separated and isolated 
like this we live for a long time 
waiting at last to see the light 
Or waiting even more for the darkness.

Pretending to be fine 
but more lost than ever
imagining a black star falling
my cliff is empty.

I would like it to be just a dream 
I would like to return to my life
but at the end of everything, everything happens for a reason
Maybe it was time to reinvent ourselves. 


Feelings
by Anonymous

Feeling like a volcano ready to burst, 
yet, still, I rise

Getting used to the bubble in my chest, 
yet, I rise

Anxiety is a prison in my mind, 
still, I rise

Feeling all these emotions bottling up inside, 
still, I rise

Struggling to keep afloat everywhere I go, 
yet, I rise

Every day that goes by a new challenge comes along, 
still, I rise


Still, I Rise
by Maria C. Martinez Anaya

Broken down by the words of people, still, I rise
Broken down by discrimination of society, still, I rise 

We only speak English in America, still, I rise and speak in my native language
Still, I rise when I hear the hurtful words of “go back to your country”

Still, I rise from my parent crossing the border for a better future 
Still, I rise from my parent being nothing to becoming something

Still, I rise from not having luxurious things to having whatever I want

Still, I rise trying to meet society’s beauty standards to making my own standards

Still, I rise with pride and my head held high


Blue Year 
by J. M. 

I don't need the world to see that I've been the best I could be
Now I'm lying here wondering what I should do
Could you please tell me what I ought to do?

If I had all the words, I'd say them all at once
And now my thoughts are about to burst 
But I must keep my cool
It's costing me my sleep

When I first wake up in the morning 
I have trouble even staying awake for more than a few minutes
And I can’t take this pain forever
Once again, I slept through the day

Trauma, sadness, darkness, and grief 
that grew deeper and deeper inside of me
Life isn't about living
It is about surviving 
And I haven’t perfected it yet


Quarantine
by D. O.

The people slowly  rotting,
Infested with evil diseases 
I felt cornered in my room
But still, I rise

I hid in the shadows
Afraid of what’s to come,
But still, I rise

I felt the world was falling apart
But still, I rise
In pitch darkness, we lived
The sun tired of shining in the morning sky

The tree leaves falling from the sky
As if it was raining leaves
The autumn wind blowing down the empty street

The world slowly recovering
From what was once lost,
People’s lives at risk every day
Frightened of what’s to come
But still, we rise,

The people healing the world working hard,
Countless hours of work for a cure
A cure that would help humanity get out of this dark hole
Lives were still being lost
But still, we rise as people and slowly fixing
This cruel world


We Rise
by E. R.

The piercing sounds of the sirens
The lights flashing from blue to red

But still 
I’ll rise 

The corrupt world filled with tyrants 
At night, I am unable to sleep in my bed

But still 
I’ll rise

The men with the nice suits
The women with the nice jewels

Staring down on the men with boots
And the women with the tools

But still 
We rise


I Rise
by Itzel Silva

Still on my bed I lay,
Bored and unfocused
I don't get up all day
Still I rise

Work is all I know
No breaks
No sleep
Still I rise

Grades were slipping
Goals were drifting
Still I rise

My motivation slowly faded
Will I ever be able to say I made it?
Still I rise

Opened up was the world
When suddenly it closed
New beginnings had to unfold
Still I rise


Will We Rise
by Mr. Leong

As Luna rests
And Sol rises
So too,
I rise

Another crimson sky
A beautiful disaster
While hope bleeds out
Still, I rise

Heavy air, like a campfire in June
The weight of lost dreams
Suffocates
But still, I rise

People cry out
Animals cry louder
A cacophony of pain
But still, the world is silent
And still, I rise

Luna and Sol, their dance is eternal
Symbiosis, beauty
But our dance with Gaia, limited
Parasitic, grotesque

Sol will continue to rise
And one day, no longer
Will we rise


We Will Rise
by Mr. Leong

It feels impossible
To stay optimistic
When the world suffocates
When people suffocate
But still, for their sake, I rise

These masks are a living metaphor
For what we’ve done to our home
To our family
Animals, people, ecosystems
Can’t breathe, can’t hope
But still, for their sake, I rise

Why is it getting hotter
When people are getting colder
When the corporations that govern us
Have frozen over Hell
But still, for their sake, I rise

Still, I rise
Because I must

Our demagogues lie and deceive
Yet truth will always reveal itself
To those who are willing to see
While the future seems grim and   hopeless
That dread will fuel the flames of youth
So, together, we will rise

Together, let us spurn the selfishness and greed
From the liars who would see us deceased
Always cognizant of the way things should be
For the people who live with veracity

Together, let us fight fire with fire
Let it burn through the void in your breast
Like a phoenix reborn
Our home, our family
Will rise

Together, we will rise